Saturday, October 20, 2007


I am so incredibly tired. I was supposed to go into work today, but my body, mind and spirit just wouldn't let me. I came back from work last night at around 11:30 ish. It's been non-stop work for me for about 2 months now? I can't even remember.

Last week Sunday I was so tired I wasn't even able to set my alarm properly to wake up for church. I could've sworn I set that thing! Instead, I slept the entire morning away and missed even going to church altogether. Throughout this crazy crunch time Sunday has been the one day that I've been able to run to as my shelter and rest. The one day that I can meet with my church family and friends. To actually be able to designate some time in my life that's something else other than work. Missing it was quite a downer!

I went to work that Sunday afternoon at around 3. I left work at 6:30...

...Monday night.

That was a 27 hour work day. To top that off, someone broke into my car (smashing the driver's side window) in the company parking lot and took 2 dollars worth of quarters. Lovely. Fortunately, my company paid for the damages. But definitely, a broken car window was not what I needed at the time.

All this working was geared toward a Capcom Gamer's day build for our game that just got announced called Commando 3. I'm the lead artist on it so I'm managing and producing art for it. I should really be excited about it finally being shown to the public, but honestly I am so very tired, I can barely function correctly. Every day has been a work day minimum of 12 hours. Maybe when the dust settles I can look back at the game and I dunno... feel something? Right now my body and mind are ready to collapse. The fatigue's hitting me now, and the sad part is, I can't even take a breather. Instead I need to pour the steam on harder and crazier than I ever have before. I'm not sure if I'm up for it. But it's okay. I know everything will be fine.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ that you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24

My mom gave me this little scroll thing to hang in my cubicle and it has this verse on it. I read it everyday before my day starts to remind myself. So far there has been some good buzz over the game's announcement. But in all honesty any positive thing people have to say for it really goes right up to God. And the main reason? Because I am so tired to actually produce anything good right now, it's only by His power and will that I can even prop my Wacom pen and mouse up to work.

I am so tired I have no idea what the days are anymore. Yesterday I didn't even know it was Friday because the days have been a long string of workdays. Haha. The project is almost done, and I'm so glad this will finally come to an end. The trouble is I'm dovetailed right into another one with an even shorter schedule. And there's just no way I can rest. So my prayers nowadays have been for God to give me alertness in mind and some peace to rest in Him.

It's like I'm running a marathon and I'm trying to scrape the very bottom of whatever it is I'm pulling my energy out of to keep moving to the finish line. It's quite a mental battle because the finish line is nowhere within eyesight. Just a bunch of curvy hills and cliffsides. And Spike traps. Maybe some land mines too. But like I said before, it's okay. Because what I hold onto now is something that I cannot see anyways. My Ace in the hole is faith that God will continuously prop me up, keep me going and give me my next 6th and 7th winds through out this. He knows what I can or cannot handle and my biggest lesson now is to rely only on Him.

Anyway. That's enough ranting for today. Oh yah. I almost forgot the reason I started this post! Here's link to a video of Commando 3 for xbox live arcade and the PlayStation Network:

I am so glad I have a solid team of artists with me. The team's doing a great job considering the incredible stress and pressure that's being put onto us within such a limited budget and schedule. I'm definitely blessed to be working with such a talented crew that can pull their own weight.

Maybe once the game is released for downloadable I'll do a series of posts on the charcter and vehicle designs that I did for the game. Anyway, I gotta get my laundry, I'm finding it difficult to do my laundry when I get home at around 12 oclock at night and the only thing I do in my free time is sleep! Good night and God Bless!
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